All words and no wordplay makes writing a dull chore.
That's why, or partially why, many writers occasionally visit such literary
houses of ill repute as puns, double entendres, neologisms and sexapedalian
Aside: That "n" word just above means something new added to language, which may
or may not make the cut in your next Funk & Wagnalls; sexapedalian verbiage
would refer to words that are, metaphorically, six feet long.
While "new words" and "big words" would do just as well, they wouldn't be as
much fun for this humble scribe and/or as intellectually stimulating for his
Thus, I plead guilty to diversions like that and hereinafter present an example
of such wordworking, as it applies to our elected reprehensibles (there's one)
on Crapitall Hill (and another!)
The word "ideologue" is bandied about by politicians and pundits to characterize
others, but never themselves or those who agree with them.
By definition, an ideologue is one who is a blindly partisan advocate of, or
adherent to, a particular body of thought or plan of action and is intolerant of
all conflicting views.
In our Congress, ideology is pandemic, proof of which is the prevalence of
strict party line votes and unswerving adherence to the talking points dictated
by party leaders or group philosophies.
This suggests the need for a reclassification of our House of Reprehensibles as
the Lemmingslative Branch of the government. (By golly, TWO "n" words right
Lemmings, as you probably know, are rat-like creatures who "go with the flow,"
thoughtlessly following their leaders without regard for what is best for the
general environment around them.
It never occurs to them that there might be a better strategy, such as thinking
for themselves and acting accordingly.
Our elected reprehensibles, alas, fit the same mold, dutifully marching behind
the banners and spouting the mantras of their respective parties, regardless of
what might be best for the people (i.e., us-all) they are sworn to serve.
There is little difference between an ideologue and a bigot, both types of
people being inflexibly partial to their own group, religion, race, beliefs
and/or political party, and intolerant of those who disagree.
Were one to shuttle (as this one does) between Fox News and MSNBC, one would
encounter a rich array of ideologies, only occasionally deodorized by genuine
debate and rarely concluded with agreement.
There seldom is heard a surrendering word as broadsides of canned propaganda are
exchanged, and minds are almost never changed among the talking heads.
And change is what is sorely needed as ideologues pursue the idiocy of employing
the same tired and untrue tactics and expecting different results.
Meanwhile, our nation staggers toward bankruptcy and the piggy banks of our
begats and grandbegats are being stuffed with IOUs.
Shame on us for letting it happen!
Changing one letter of one word, however, converts an ideologue into an
idealogue - and what a difference that "a" makes!
Idealogues are people who not only think outside the box of bigotry, but refuse
to be confined within it.
They identify problems, tackle them head-on, theorize solutions and seek
compromise with other free-thinkers with differing views.
They see gridlock as an unnecessary barrier to progress, negotiation as a solemn
obligation and compromise as the only weapon capable of cutting through the
Gordian Knot of gridlock.
Second aside: Legend has it that Alexander The Great solved the problem of a
knot that nobody could untie in ancient Gordium with one mighty thrust of his
sword. Such effective means to an end would be unthinkable to a truly dedicated
ideologue, to whom gridlock is preferred to compromise.
Bold thinkers in our District of Calumny could, if only they would, sit down
with their peers on Crapitall Hill and cut through the Gordian Knot of partisan
politics (a.k.a. ideology, a.k.a. bigotry, by the way).
They won't do so, though, either out of reverence for the status quo or fear of
the political hellfire wrought by such "third rails" as bringing entitlements
under control, putting operating expenses on a diet, cutting the Gordian Knot
(see supra) of red tape, sealing pork barrels and bringing budgets into balance.
What a difference an "a" would make in ideology - plus a few bold sword-slingers
on the Hill..
Alas, it is more likely that, on election days soon to come, we will again fall
victim to the deadliest sociopolitical disease afflicting this nation; it's
called "gonorrhea lectem."
You won't find that in your Funken anything, but the threat is real and the only
effective vaccine is identifying the Congressional ideologues and throwing their
asses (and elephants) out.
July 23, 2010
The KlockWorks, Inc., P.O. Box 72, Holderness, NH 03245
Phone: (603) 968-4449 E-Fax: (954) 333-2944 Web:
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Freelance wordworker Joe Klock, Sr. (firstname.lastname@example.org) winters in Key Largo and Coral Gables, Florida and summers in New Hampshire. More of his "Klockwork" can be found at www.joeklock.com.