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The Gantseh Megillah

The Outspeaker

I’ve been hearing (mostly via Facebook, my current addiction) from folks (some in my very own family) who call themselves Conservatives. They run, in my case, mostly to semi-educated solid middle class, well-intentioned youths. Some of them, curiously, are quite well informed as far as political history goes. Without exception they suck their angst from right-wing talk radio and the demagogues who people Fox News’ frequencies. Mencken’s definition of a demagogue is wonderful: “One who preaches doctrines he knows to be false to men he knows to be idiots.” Needless to say, the target of their hatred and fear is our president.

I have heard him called pretty much every name in the book, from the kinder and gentler “Socialist” and “Stalinist” to the over-the-top “Fuckin’ Liberals” (Referring not only to Barack, but his wife as well). Next, I predict, they will attack his kids. I’m serious. I recall Rush Limbaugh, the day after Clinton was elected, calling Bubba's daughter “ugly.” I also recall John McCain, in 2000, calling Rush a “Carnival Clown.” He had that about right, no pun intended.

As far as entertainment news goes, liberals are not much better. Bill Maher, Rachel Maddow (who grows increasingly cynical and snotty to my ears), and Keith Olbermann are merely advocates, not journalists. That we need to be spoon-fed our facts mixed with something sweet, much like a child being slipped medicine, speaks to the abysmal state of political discourse in our country. It also explains much of the rancid final product, such as the 2000 and 2004 presidential elections. In any case, the conservative clowns have a decided edge in the anger and slander department, but that’s only my, perhaps partisan, opinion.

NAH! They are FAR worse than the Liberals!

Conservatives seem to have a penchant for the “bumper-sticker” argument, the one liner that makes no real sense, but is easy to remember and is open to interpretation any way you choose. They do this with the Bible as well. They’ll pull a few lines out of the “Old Testament,” King James Version. natch, and then explain them to you. The explanation invariably will support their political position. They will also do this with the New Testament, a marginally harder task, as Jesus was clearer and more consistent in his discourse than the hoards of prophets and others who populate the K.J. Version. The Disciples quote him as advocating love for both God and each other, despising the accumulation of wealth, and preached incessantly the need to follow “The Commandments.” In other words, he was a fairly orthodox Jew, had an in-depth knowledge of Torah, and, in reading the Lord’s Prayer, was probably educated by Cabbalists. You’d never guess this from the social and political positions taken by the “Conservative Base.” Fortunately, that base is on the downswing, although after ’00 and ’04, I find that less than reassuring. I feel them quivering under my feet as I write this. Make no mistake, they’ll be back. They lay their plans as we speak!

The lunatics have been congregating in each other’s homes, holding “tea parties” and plan one nationwide protest in a few days.

What are they protesting?

Any and all policies and actions of the current congress and administration.

They are particularly miffed at the recent stimulus plan, enacted to attempt to save what is left of our economic and industrial base. What do they propose we do instead? Absolutely nothing. The Right has to date done nothing but produce a pamphlet-sized “budget” with no actual numbers. This is fine with the Teabaggers, because Sean, Rush, and Newt have instructed them that to do nothing is the heart of true Conservatism. Like Scrooge of fiction, they have managed to construct a dynamic that has NO dynamic at its cold heart. The irony is that those sad idiots who teabag are the very ones who are going to need those funds, not the Iraqis who are now (believe it or not) buying Hummers at a frantic rate. (With what? Where did all the money come from? These were the people we were feeling sorry for because they had no clean water or electricity. Where did all this sudden affluence come from? Hummers ain’t cheap…). I guess this is another pillar of Conservative Economics; spend all the money you want on other people, but let your own citizens die for lack of adequate medical care, or poor nutrition. Millions for Hummers, but not a penny for your own!

The Teabaggers also complain about increased taxation. These new taxes are not new taxes at all, merely a return to the days before the Boy Wonder and his Circus of Fools. Taxes would increase on those earning $250,000 or more, and even then only 3%. But it’s the PRINCIPAL of the thing, ya know?

It all makes no sense at all, and at the same time all the sense in the world. They don’t really care about gay marriage (Iowa? IOWA?), prostitution, Christianity, EXCUSE me, JUDEO-Christianity, or any of the other social issues the right used to brainwash the middle class. Its all about taxes on the rich. It’s that trickle-down Reagan bullshit all over again. They actually believe it! Despite the evidence of having tried it for DECADES and the pathetic state of affairs that has manifested itself as a result, they want to do it all over again!

The bottom line, from what I have been able to glean from the squeaks coming from what remains of the Right, is that they are frightened of Obama. Not that he will fail, although that prospect scares ME, but that he will, indeed, IS succeeding. If that comes to pass, then they will be shown for the bigoted, fear mongering, anti-American fools that they are, have, and forever will be.

In the meantime, I think I’ll have some bumper stickers printed. I’ll stick one on my car (no Hummer, a modest Ford Focus). I think it should read “Personal Responsibility.” Whatever the hell THAT means.

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