Issue: 12.01 1/10/2011
by: Elayne Kotler
To Be or Not To Be Married

Good old Willie Shakespeare – what did he know about divorce in his time! Marriage – is it really worth it – it’s a double edge sword!

A difficult decision today is whether or not a single can survive “happily” in the “COUPLES WORLD”. And of course SOCIETY, described by Webster as …. “an enduring and co-operating social group whose members have developed organized patterns of relationships through interaction with one another ….” unfortunately make it extremely impossible and difficult in today’s world to survive economically and peacefully by oneself as compared to being married. Yes, we can, as a single survive, but why do we have to climb all the obstacle courses before we can settle into our own nests.

Do you ever recall hearing about Adam and Eve’s wedding? Cain and Abel certainly didn’t go through the hassles at school with maiden names or married names of mother and father when registering.

Who and when did ‘marriage’ originate and why does our society frown upon us for having children without being in a marriage? We are told that marriage is defined as a commitment and an ongoing exchange between a man and a woman. Can one commit his love and devotion to someone without the expense and possible failure of a marriage? Since families have been stripped of some of their functions, the need for marriage is deteriorating. Happily, to be noted, the roles of the husband and wife are changing and bearing children out of wedlock is more acceptable.

Life today, as we see it, in the fast lane, is still geared and will always be geared to couples. This is a hard, cold fact we must try to accept. Ever sit in a restaurant and watch an attractive, single lady eat dinner by herself? She can’t dance by herself on a public dance floor in comfort; or have tea for two alone in a café; or peddle a bicycle built for two by herself. Ever heard the expression “two can live as cheaply as one!” When’s the last time you had a game of tennis by yourself, or ping pong.

Okay, okay …. Times are truly changing. We can find contentment and peace by ourselves, without the marriage certificate but you, Mr. Society, still make it so hard for us to do.

Let me give you just a few pros and cons about single versus married from my point of view as a single female. For example, isn’t it great to know that the toilet seat is always down; isn’t it wonderful to come home after a hard day at the office and not have to cook for your hungry man; and what about just wanting to GO TO SLEEP! But then, on the other hand wouldn’t it be nice to have someone scratch your itch; or fix the toaster, or occasionally bring you breakfast in bed and even participate in an intelligent conversation.

So I am asking you, Mr. Society, help us live in an easier, economic environment, without the rules and regulations on our sexual partners or living arrangements. Please give us, the single individual, (as one example) reduced rates as opposed to paying supplementary single fares.

Maybe, just maybe Mr. Society, if you bend a little, then we’ll bend a little!!

Elayne Kotler, a member of Canadian Writer's Society, lives in Toronto. A mother, grandmother and author, besides working as a full-time administrative assistant position with Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, is a very busy lady. Her book, Just How Many Roses Do I Have to Smell, will be out very shortly. It is a very entertaining book about her male relationships over the years and how she handled them
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