Issue: 10.08
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Hi Gang, and greetings from Hollywood!

Shalom, Gang!

Why is it, when some directors get a few hits under their belt, they begin to think that their vision of any given subject is better than that of the originator?

My rant this month is with Tim Burton. Yes, he did an amazing job with his two "Addams Family" movies, and "Edward Scissorhands", and the cult masterpiece "Mars Attacks". But, as they say in Hollywierd...er, Hollywood, "You're only as good as your last project." and I fear Burton's 'vision' of the new "Alice in Wonderland" may just put asunder what twenty years of genius hath wrought.

According to my erstwhile little birdies, this one may well have Lewis Caroll spinning in his casket. In this edition, Alice (played quite well by Australian actress Mia Wasikowska,) is seventeen now and flees a marriage proposal, led on by the white rabbit, and follows him down the rabbit hole. (Nu? How does a nubile seventeen year old girl squeeze down....oh, never mind.) Here she is reunited with the Mad Hatter, (played flawlessly by Burton's pet project saver Johnny Depp,) and the rest of the expected list of suspects, including her nemesis The Red Queen, (Helena Bonham Carter) who has become so impossible that the citizens of Wonderland are obliged to get Alice to help depose her. What's so absurd about the plot is, Alice was in Wonderland ten years earlier, but remembers nary a moment of her adventure.

If you enjoyed the Disney animated version of Carroll's tale, you won't like this one. The fun is gone, replaced by Burton's signature gothic darkness and borderline grotesques. Example: The Red Queen, whose favorite cry is 'Off with their head!' actually has a moatfull of disembodied craniums floating about. And don't expect Alice to be a proper Victorian lady, either. This movie could well have been titled. "Alice: Warrior Bimbo" This movie is more "Mulan meets Nightmare Before Christmas", and possesses very little of the charm and cuteness of the Disney Version.

Bear in mind, I'm going strictly by what I've been told by someone who is involved with the project and who said there isn't a snowball's chance in hell he's going to take his kids to see it. For my part, I shall reserve judgement until I've seen the final cut.

Till next month, Gang!

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