With regard to your first question. It is my understanding that since G-D
created this "afflicted" person as he/she is, the person is not held to the same
responsibility as would be one who is in a "better place". It is the
responsibility of those entrusted with his/her welfare that proper medical
and/or psychological attention is provided.
Kabbalah teaches that everything that exists does so for a purpose far beyond
our human understanding. It is quite possible, however, that the spark of soul
existing within the afflicted and the spark within those who he/she comes in
contact with have soul-issues to work out. All humans are here on this earth to
learn a particular lesson, one that will allow for spiritual growth.
It is my belief that G-D does not punish. Not even those who are fundamentally
bad people. We do a sufficient job of punishing ourselves and each other. That
leaves a void to be filled by G-D's love.
It is extremely important that all people repent on a daily basis. Taking stock
of what you have accomplished at the end of each day, be it good, mediocre or
evil allows you the opportunity of seeing the results of your thoughts and deeds
and gives you the opportunity to make the necessary corrections, try harder or
be content. When you have done good things, you are, already, walking in G-D's
path. When you have failed to complete a thought that would have turned out well
for you and others, it allows for you to make an adjustment in both thought and
deed. Finally, if you have committed an evil act (stemming from an evil thought)
and you take the time to reflect on it, you are well on the way to Teshuvah/repentance.
The next time, you'll act in a way that benefits more or even all of G-D's
For some reason, masturbation by a female, as far as I know, was never addressed
in Scripture. The male is instructed: "cast not thy seed upon the ground". This,
circuitously, became an edict to males to not masturbate. However, since both
sexual fantasies and masturbation are a part of human sexuality, I, for one,
would find it hard to believe that G-D would look at it as wrong.
Please understand that I am not expressing an Orthodox view. If you want to hear
that position, I recommend that you ask an Orthodox rabbi his learned opinion.
One can be a "good" Jew and a "good" person while incorporating more modern
social and sexual behaviors. The key, as far as I am concerned is that, in the
process of exploring one's own sexuality that no harm come to another.
Chag kasher V'sameach