The wedding invitation arrived and I'm "platsn." No, I wasn't invited to Mar-a-Lago for the wedding of Melania Knauss and Donald Trump, even though I spend the winter just 15 minutes from Palm Beach. This "umglikekh" (unfortunate) lady wasn't on their A-list!

Perhaps you've read that the longest courtship in cartoon page history will come to an end on Feb. 5, 2005. Cathy ("Cathy") and Irving are getting married.

With Barbie and Ken breaking up (they want some quality time apart), Britney Spears and Jason Alexander having their marriage annulled just 55 minutes after the ceremony, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston parting, and Donald marrying for the third time, what is this world coming to?

Cathy is finally taking the plunge after nearly "draysik" (30) years. She's accepted Irving's proposal after finding a ring box in his gym bag.

"A harts iz a shloss; m'dark fem richtiken shlissel." (A heart is a lock for which you need the right key.) The good news reminds me of the words to the Yiddish song, "Fun Vanen Heybt Zich On A Libe?" (How Does A Love Start?)

Fun va - nen heybt zich on a - li - be?
Fun rey - dn, fun shmu - e sn,
fun la - chn.
Un - dzer li - be hot zich on - ge - hoy - bn,
Gor fun an - de - re za - chn;
Un - dzer za - chn.

How does a love start in the beginning?
By talking, by gossiping, by laughter.
Our love did not start like the others,
That's not what we both were after...

I guess there'll be fewer strips on diets, "arbet" (work), insecurities, and loneliness since Cathy's heading down the bridal "shteg" (path). Now she's pondering pastor possibilities, wedding dress selections, wedding videos, seating charts, bridesmaid outfits, "welcome out-of-towner" gift baskets, printers who spelled her name wrong on 500 napkins, and a five-hour window where her dress will zip. Oh, there's also the POOF FACTOR--a magic wand waves on her wedding day and-- POOF--it's all perfect.

In the past, Cathy has struggled with "fir" basic guilt groups: food, love, mother and careers. Cathy's relationship with her well-meaning mother is no different from Jewish mame/tokhter problems: love, anxiety, rebellion, devotion, frustration, and hysteria. My mother always said, "Dray zakhn ken men nit bahaltn: libe, hustn un dales." (Three things that cannot be hidden: love, coughing and poverty.) She also told me that it's just as easy to love a "der gvir" (rich man) as a "der oreman" (poor man)!

And Irving has had his problems, too:
hair loss and weight loss, to mention just two. Someone from Claymont, Del. once told Cathy Guisewite, "Cathy's cute and funny but I wish she was tougher. She should take kickboxing and karate. Irving's a schmuck. She needs a real man."

Cathy sees herself as Right Body, Wrong Century:

"Brust" (bust): 1960s
"Talye" (waist) 1920s
"Polke" (thigh) 1800s
"Tokhes" (rear) "Eybic" - Timeless

With the average wedding costing approximately $26,327, will Cathy use a wedding planner/consultant? Or will she economize and use the Five Star Software program, "My Wedding Companion"? (This program includes oddball advice like: brides should avoid caffeine lest it "turns the bride into Bridezilla.")

Here's "di frage" (question): What gift do you give a couple who's half an inch tall? Cathy and Irving certainly know the meaning of the Yiddish word "tsdokeh (charity). They've registered online at TheBigDay.com. This gift registry will help homeless dogs and cats find loving new homes. Guests can choose "Happily Ever After Flea & Tick Baths," "Here Comes the Dinner Bowl Meals" and "In Sickness and in Health Veterinary Checkups."

Mazel-tov, Cathy and Irving. "Me zol zikh bagegenen oyf simkhes." (May we meet on happy occasions.)