April 9, 2006  
Sunday At Grandma Rifka's
Issue:
7.04

It seems like yesterday, it was 1950 and it was Sunday- which meant that we were all going to Bubbie Rifka’s house. There would be my parents and brother, Uncle Willie and Aunt Rose, Aunt Lillie and Uncle Sam, cousins Marvin and Rita, Aunt Minnie with her two boys Sammy and Benny, and of course the black sheep of the family and rebel, Uncle Sol. In less then a year cousin Marsha and her husband Morris would join in the family circle also.

We’d walk from Eastern Parkway where we lived, down Utica Avenue to Carroll street. Bubbie lived in an apartment house on the second floor. She’d be looking out the window watching us as we arrived and greeting and waving to us as we looked up. I remember how elegant the building looked with a marble floor in the lobby. She lived in a much nicer apartment than we did. The elevator had an expandable gate that we’d close behind us and then we’d press the 2nd floor button. What a thrill to ride that elevator. In an earlier time an elevator operator would commandeer and run the elevator, but that was years before my Grandma moved in.

Grandma was the last one to arrive from the old country and was treated with much respect, like royalty. She stood a tall 4’11, was “stout” , had grey hair, a big Jewish nose and a loving smile. She was always dressed in black as if her husband had died yesterday. After 12 children, she never even looked at a man. She only spoke Yiddish and never learned a word of English, she never had to….it was 1950 Brooklyn and most everyone in the neighborhood spoke Yiddish. My Uncle Sol lived with her. He owned the fruit store on Utica avenue and which was one block from Grandma’s apartment. He shared half the store with a kosher butcher and he prided himself in being a fruitier, viewing himself with great pride and respect. Uncle Sol provided a place for Grandma to visit during the day…she’d go to his store, feed the cats…go to the park or visit one of her children. Her day was very predictable.

Bubba would greet us often with a tray of ruggalah and strudel, as we entered here home, and she’d be smiling saying “neme, neme es mein kind”. Oh, I loved the way she cooked and when I turned 9 my mother would let me go visit her after school all by myself. I’d watch her cook and she always had something special for me. I loved Bubba and she loved me. Now, I’m going to tell you a secret…my Mother loved my Brother Herb more than me, you can ask him and he’ll tell ya with a big smile on his face, but Bubba loved me more.

The family would all head towards the living room, they’d give Bubba the head seat in the circle… and the conversations would begin. They’d talk about they’re jobs and problems that happened during the week; they’d tell stories of personal experiences, and everyone had a chance to speak. There was a lot of love in that room. Of course there were disagreements as well when Morris went to work for Uncle Sol and soon opened up his own fruit stand a block away. This was addressed every week and would become a shouting match between the two. Uncle Sam was a tie maker. The company went out of business and he went to work for my Father. My Father owned a factory business in the garment center of New York making leather belts for ladies’ suits and coats. They had lot’s to talk about. Aunt Minnie and Aunt Lillie were restaurateurs…they partnered in a luncheonette in Rockaway Beach for the summer and eventually had a luncheonette in Flushing. My aunt Lillie went off on her own for a while and opened up a Luncheonette in upstate Ellenville, New York in the Catskills. The only thing I remember about that was that I needed to use the restroom and they told me to go outside to an out house.

My cousins Benny and Sammy loved baseball. They were about 13 years older than me and Benny had made the Yankees’ rookie team. Sammy became an Umpire. They eventually both became printers to make a living. Interestingly, Benny died at 55 while coaching a little league baseball team while living in Florida.

Cousin Rita was hot, ask my brother…Benny and Sammy were also saying the same thing. Rita was 14 years my senior and I thought she was pretty too and I was nine.

Cousin Marvin worked for Strauss stores, always quiet, he never said very much.

I do want to say that out of all my Aunts, my Aunt Minnie was my favorite. She’d always take out a Snicker bar from her purse for me and say “ A shnicker for Mechel”, I always looked forward to seeing her.

Nu, so tell me the rest of the story, you say. The family circle meetings were consistent ..every Sunday rain or shine. We had a loving family, much hugging, a lot of talking, some yelling but always family. I think it’s because they knew they could always depend on each other in spite of what anyone said.

Then Aunt Minnie moved to Flushing, she got an apartment over a bar and pizzeria. I can still smell the pizza and beer as if it was just yesterday.

Aunt Lillie and uncle Sam purchased a home in Flushing about 10 Miles from Minnie, definitely not within walking distance. Rita married and moved to Forest Hills, Marvin moved to Florida.

Benny and Sammy both married beautiful women and moved to Monmouth New Jersey with their families.

Uncle Sol married Aunt Ray and had a son named Jan. He moved out, leaving Grandma to take in a border, and moved near prospect park…he stayed in Brooklyn.

My brother married Rochelle and remained in Brooklyn until he moved to Long Island.

When it came time for us to move my parents purchased a home in Flushing and Bubbie came to live with us…we shared the same room since there were only two bedrooms, and every night she’d tell me how she disliked my Father and how my mother could have done better. She never gave the guy a chance. He’d bend over backwards to please my Mom and he meant the world to her. But Bubbie had hoped for more for her daughter.

She stayed with us for a year and then my Mom had to work. Bubbie needed special attention. There was a retirement home, an old folks home as we called it, a few blocks away and she went to live there.

Everyone was busy, mortgages to pay, children to raise, work…Sundays no longer were time for the family circle at Grandma’s. Although many of the family lived in Flushing we were not within walking distance and most did not own automobiles so we’d see different family members

Uncle Sol would show up weekly to see bubbie, come over to our house and argue with my Mom. They continued this type of relationship into my Mom’s nineties.

I remember the day when Grandma passed away. I also remember the family going to visit her grave once a year.

Life was different after Bubbie died. I think everyone of her children realized that the torch was now in their hands and they were soon to become Bubbies, and Zedeys.

I’m glad Grandma Rifka lived with us and I got to know her well. As I finish this article, which I know my brother Herb will read, I say one more time “Bubbie loved me more.”

Elliot could not write this month he underwent surgery for his arm and expects to be writing again soon.

So from the Jews Brothers, Elliot and Mel, we wish you a Happy Pesach.

e-mail Elliot e-mail me! Go back to:
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