At the close of each year, when I look back over its gifts to me, I realize that my best moments were those when someone gave me a fresh perspective on the joy of being human. Our world has become one that values conformity so much that it tries to squelch the tiny diamond within us no matter how determined it is to cast its individual light. We judge someone by the clothes he wears, the car he drives and income bracket on his tax return. This would not be such a huge tragedy if it weren’t that we judge ourselves by the same standards.

We are a two by two world and I have many single friends, each with his own individual face and manner, all looking for a Mr. or Miss Right who resembles a magazine cover. Although they would not want to be judged by surface things, they evaluate potential partners as if those people were auditioning for a beauty pageant. They have forgotten that each of us contains a unique sparkle that once discovered transforms us into a treasure.

When I was fifteen, I learned this about others, but it wasn’t until I neared seventy that I accepted it in myself. When I was a sophomore in high school I met the most unusual looking teenager I had ever seen. His name was Larry Bershon. He was short, balding with large front teeth and a shape that resembled a schmoo, narrow at the top, rounded at the bottom. Because this was 1948 when your face was your passport, my first reaction to Larry was pity and disdain.

How wrong I was. Larry Bershon saw himself as a competent, creative and exciting human being. Five minutes conversation with him and I thought he was a handsome and entertaining wit, indeed, the most desirable boy in our class. We went out on an occasional date off and on through the next few years and each time we were together, I was struck with how very beautiful he was to me. When I looked at him, I saw a prince of a man, a magnificent persona whose hair was thinning in a most charming manner. His teeth enhanced that glorious smile and his shape? Well when you are in the middle of a good cuddle, who cares?

My mother always told me a man can be one shade uglier than the devil but a woman must be exquisite to make her way in life and I believed her. I was an awkward child who grew into a shapeless adult. Although I could see the immense beauty in others, I saw none in myself. My father solidified this self-image by telling me, “It’s a good thing you have a decent personality, Lynn Ruth, because your looks will get you nowhere.”

I have had an exciting and lovely life, but I never traded on looks to achieve my dreams. I do not court another’s favor to accomplish my any goal. When I was younger, I was so obsessed with my lack of beauty that I became severely anorexic before anyone had a name for the disease. I diet to this day, so worried am I that I will present an unpleasant profile.

Not long ago, I was on a radio program discussing my battle with eating disorders with a sweet young man named Jeff Holden. “Do you still have problems with your image?” he asked me and until that very moment I certainly did. However, I was on the air and I said what I wanted most to believe: “Of course not!” I told him. “When you first saw me, I was no more than a wrinkled bag of skin to you but once we started exchanging ideas, I became the adorable little lady you are looking at right now.”

He looked up from his sheaf of notes and his smile was as brilliant as the sunshine after a rain. “You’re so right!” he exclaimed. “You are absolutely darling.”

I looked at him and tried to hide my surprise. He meant it! The standards I applied to others worked for me as well and I was thrilled. I had always thought I had an uphill climb to overcome my plainness if I were to capture anyone’s attention and I assure you I hated meeting new people for fear they would label me ugly before I had the chance to speak. I do not want to think of the money I wasted on trying to transform my dumpy features into a thing of visual beauty. I realized then that I could clothe myself in exotic fashions, cake my face with every cosmetic on the shelf and crimp my hair into clouds of multi colored curls without so much as touching what is beautiful in me.

The core of everyone’s charm lies in a brilliant pocket beneath his ribs. Our spirit is our best and most original cosmetic. It burnishes that sparkle within us that is ours alone, the diamond shine that is our unique contribution to the universe. When I walk in a crowd, I am in a human milky way, warm, radiant and filled with variety. Indeed, that little beam of light is my only treasure, and I must guard it like the Hope Diamond because it is unlike any other’s before or after me. The secret to happiness is to cherish that glowing jewel that is who I am and nourish it until its luster touches others and gives them the courage to discover their own precious beam of light.

And so when 2003 arrives, open your windows and shout to all who would listen, “Here I am, you lucky world! The one and only me.” Join the twinkling chorus of human lights that makes this universe a warm and glowing place for us all: a celestial cluster of many-faceted, multi-colored endlessly varied human stars.