EDDY'S PAGE
by Eddy Robey M.A.

In February, conversation is dominated by tales about Valentine's Days, past and present. People speak fondly of wonderful meals, reminisce about long-ago loves, and tell jokes about their worst present ever.

Those worst gift stories can turn the anticipation of any holiday into an occasion for anxiety. Some people avoid the problem by declining to give anything at all, but that is not a happy option, so most of us get busy buying and/or making things which we hope will bring gladness to those we hold dear.

At such times, isn't it nice to know when you've done something right? Recently, someone told me just that. Three years ago, I gave a loved one something which pleased him so much that he is still enjoying it, and so decided to thank me again.

What was in that well-remembered parcel? Was it fabulously expensive, rare, or exotic? It was none of the above. The box contained twenty-five identical pairs of black socks. It is always the case that the best gifts are simple, useful, and designed to make life more comfortable for the recipient.

It is also important for you to know that the man to whom I gave them liked black socks. I didn't try to enliven his existence by giving him argyles, or any other interesting patterns. He liked black socks, so that is what he received. Presents should never be intended to improve someone.

An example of this can be found in my linen cupboard, which contains neat stacks of immaculately white sheets, towels, pillowcases, etc. I take great pride in those gleaming pieces of cloth, and the fact that it is impossible to detect any color difference between those items which are new, and those more than twenty years old.

Every once in a while, someone decides to make my life more interesting by gifting me with a set of something pastel, bright, or printed. I immediately donate or give those items to someone/someplace else who might enjoy them. There is no point to discussing the issue, but I must admit to being flummoxed by those who think they can get me to change my plain white tastes and preferences by plopping something fancified in my lap.

There is a foolproof way to avoid giving gifts which will not be enjoyed. Open your eyes, and look at the intended recipient. Don't try to be expensively impressive, because costly presents usually make people uncomfortable. Just see what a friend enjoys, and buy or make them more of the same.

Let the unspoken message be, "I see, and love you the way you are." That is really the most precious thing you can give anyone.