*Yiddish for "Family Circle"

George Burns once said, "Happiness is having a loving, caring, close-knit family--in another city." Another joke about "di mishpokhe" (family).

According to Schwartz & Wyden ("The Jewish Wife," c1970), "Isolation--the state of being cut off from other people--is the ultimate Jewish nightmare. The basis of this terror, according to Dr. Bruno Bettelheim, 'goes back to deep historical roots...It has to do with the needs of the old ghetto, the mutual dependence in a totally alien world, the old anxiety that when a husband went to the next village with his pushcart he might not come back. All Jews have this memory of persecution in common, and Hitler reinforced it.'"

The Yiddish word for "alone" is "aleyn." We Jews are joiners. We do this to evade loneliness and to achieve a sense of belonging. We join Hadassah, Sisterhood, and Brandeis; we attend Family Circle meetings.

Jerry Stiller ("Married To Laughter") writes that even though the country was in a depression, his aunts, uncles, and older cousins still managed to hold family meetings once a month. The Devorah Faiga Jake Club--named for those aunts and uncles--were evenings of schmoozing and camaraderie: "The bedroom door opened and a man dressed in a woman's fur coat, a lady's hat and a rose in his mouth, burst into the living room singing the flower song from Bizet's CARMEN."

Stiller wrote, "The get-together of the Devorah Faiga Jake Club never grew tiresome. They were full of warmth, good food, spontaneous singing, card playing, and coffee and cake..."

The late Sam Levenson ("In One Era & Out the Other") belonged to the Yoseph Chonah Family Circle, Inc.--a Cousins Club named for a great-great-grandfather. They had a cemetery committee (AKA the "burypickers"), who were the eldest of the elders. Levinson wrote, "What do these young snot noses know about dying?"

What was discussed by this committee?

For goodwill, how about we give two graves for a wedding present?

Once you die, you don't have to pay no more dues.

All members must decease within city limits. If not, they will have to be bused at their own expense to the New York side of the George Washington Bridge, where the Y.C.F.C. will pick up the obligation.

And funniest of all...

Any member who is moved to do so can walk up to the coffin and say a few heartfelt words and they do: "Cousins, what you see before you here now is only the shell; the nut is gone."

Silka and Al Fitelberg, a Canadian couple--and friends of mine--belong to the Nachshen Family Circle. The minutes of some of their meetings are posted on the web...and are "komish" (funny).

Ex. Jan. 7, 1979

Minutes of last meeting were read in seconds. They were rejected by some members of the New York contingent, but the rejection was rejected. Issie suggested that Larry join the Golden Agers (re: Larry's complaint from the last meeting at not having been invited to the 30-and-unders meeting). A mazel-tov was given to Florence and Issie's and Mickey Mouse's 35th anniversary on Jan. 7, 1979.

Rabbi Ayreh Rodin wrote a piece for the Jewish Press titled, "A Kodak Moment. In an e-mail to me, he said, "Strong family bonds are so important and we should certainly take the time and expend the effort to fortify these relation- ships...One of the problems of living in the Diaspora is that families many times are so spread apart that there is little contact with each other. Certain values are best transmitted within the family circle and it is too bad that we don't avail ourselves to this opportunity."

Harry W. Glickman wrote me an e-mail saying that he was unfamiliar with "family circles"... "because when we escaped from Naziland in 1940, there were only my parents and I. The rest of our extended family, about 60 people, all perished in the Nazi extermination, with the exception of a handful who managed to escape to Israel. Thus, family gatherings were not an entity for us, I am sorry to say."

So, call Aunt Sally, Uncle Izzy, and cousins Max and Tiffany, and set up a date for a "Mishpoche Farbrengen" (Family Circle) meeting at your "heym." "Vos gikher, alts besser." (The faster, the better.)

------------
Marjorie invites you to visit her new website: www.MarjorieGottliebWolfe.com