I recently had "der fargenign" (the pleasure) of reading Rabbi Benjamin Blech's book titled, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Judaism" (Second Edition).

The Rabbi writes that "It's 'in' to be Jewish. If a Jewish Rip Van Winkle were suddenly to awaken today after a sleep of more than half a century, there's one thing that would probably amaze him more than anything else: Madonna wearing tefillin!" (Madonna is "the Material Girl," who became "the Kabbalah girl."

If you recall, Rip Van Winkle was a cheerful ne-er-do-well who preferred hunting and fishing to farming and his wife's nagging. He was a harmless, drinking, shiftless lout, who roamed around always ready with jest and song. Rip was ready to attend to anybody's problem, but his own.

Shown below is MY list of facts, figures, and trivia that would cause one of America's best-known and best-loved folklore character to be "dershtoynt" (amazed):

Donald Trump digs Orthodox Jews. He chose two Orthodox Jews, Lee Bienstock and Dan Brody, to appear on the latest season of "The Apprentice." Bienstock stayed in the show long enough to observe Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, missing the tasks of two episodes.

Nabisco declared that Oreo cookies were Kosher.

Billy Crystal calls Yiddish, "A combination of German and phlegm."

The 2006 Scripps National Spelling Bee (May 31 - June 1) contained three Yiddish words:
"Yizkor" - (also spelled"yiskor")
"Kaddish" - (also spelled "kadish")
"Knaidel" - (also spelled "kneydl")

Observant Jews take their "hametz" (unleavened products) to the zoo before Passover."

There are approximately 254,300 Jews in Palm Beach County, Florida (meaning one in five residents is Jewish),

The Klezmer band, "Nosh, Lox & Vodka."

Conductor, Zubin Mehta, who wants to take the Israeli Philharmonic to Jordan and Egypt. (The Maestro said, "I, myself, will go with the orchestra.")

Kosher restaurants with cute names like "Glatt To See You," "Shang-Chai," "Yum Yum Glatt," "Chef-Ah-Glatt," "Cho-sen Garden."

The Lower East Side Tenement Museum, located at 90 Orchard Street, New York City.

Hottest item of the Gore/Lieberman campaign--a bi-lingual bumper sticker which reads "Gore or Gornisht." (Gore or nothing.)

A 2006 Elderhostel course titled, "From Borscht To Sauerkraut: The Biology and History of Jewish Food."

While the Weavers had made "Tzena" a hit song in the early fifties, by the sixties, Harry Belafonte sang "Hava Nagila" and Johnny Mathis sang "Eli Eli." ; The Kingston Trio sang a "folk song" based on an Israeli melody (By The Firelight - Dodi Li). In 2006, Neil Diamond sang "Hava Nagila" in the movie, "Keeping Up With the Steins."

Israel's first-ever astronaut, Col. Ilan Ramon (1954 - 2003) was launched into space on Jan. 16, 2003, with Holocaust-era art from Yad Vashem's Art Museum. After spending 15 days in space, he was killed when the craft disintegrated during re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere.

An Elderhostel course with the tag line, "Dress British, Think Yiddish."

The success of Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's book, "Kosher Sex." (The Washington Post said of the Rabbi, "He's Dr. Ruth with a yarmulke.")

Baby ("beybi") showers AFTER the baby is born ("simkhes-ben" or "simkhes-bas").

Shea Stadium offers a "glatt Kosher" food stand.

Tennis fans at the U. S. Open in Queens, New York, can select "glatt Kosher" items from the potpourri of food possibilities.

Joe Lieberman, who ran for vice president of the U. S.

Michael Jackson, who attended Sabbath services at the Carlebach Synagogue in New York City.

German-born Pope Benedict XVI, who in 2006, visited Auschwitz Concentration Camp.

Sermons titled:
"Shofar Blasts From Ground Zero"
"Is That Your Final Answer?"
"Don't Forget the Birdseed!"
"Your Clothes Look Neat, but Your Feet Are Beat"
"You Can't Go It Alone in New York City"
"Getting a Faith Lift"
"Zagat's Guide to Restaurant Religion"

Jewish businesses with names like:
"Maven Motors"
"Shalom Baby"
"Gelt Financial Corporation," and
"The Shabbatones" (musicians).

Jewish Dating Services:
www.JewishDatingandMarriage.com
www.JDate.com
www.FutureSimchas.com
www.SawYouAtSinai.com

Madeline Albright, who discovered that her grandparents had been murdered at Auschwitz and Terezin. (The former U.S. Secretary of State said that she did not know she had Jewish ancestors until she was an adult.)

Jewish comedian, Judy Gold, with her routine that begins,

"My mother just got an answering machine for her house. 'You have reached 478-____. I live at 310 Gibson Boulevard. On Tuesdays from 8-11:30 I go to Bingo at the synagogue to help out. The money is in the top drawer of my dresser in the bedroom; the key is under the mat...'"

Tovah Feldshuh as Golda Meir in the Broadway show, "Golda's Balcony."

Kosher cellphones.

"Yiddish with Dick and Jane" by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman.

Newspaper corrections (from the Times, 2004):
"The Public Lives profile on Wednesday, about Michael Arad, an Israeli who is one of the designers of the 'Reflecting Absence' memorial to be built on ground zero, misstated the location where he served in an infantry reconnaissance unit in the Israeli army. It was in the West Bank, not the Left Bank."

Poland wants to change the official name of the "Auschwitz Concentration Camp" to "Former Nazi German Concentration Camp Auschwitz-Birkenau Death Camp."

Jewish cowboy, Kinky Goldberg, is running for the governor of the great state of Texas.

The New York City Israeli Day Parade.

A vanity license plate which reads
"4 GZNTR 8."

Childrens' yarmulke favorites: Spiderman, Harry Potter, Disney, Sesame Street, Cat-in-the-Hat, and others.

A magazine named "Heeb"...with a theme issue dedicated to that Jewish-American pastime, GUILT.

TAGLIT-birthright Israel, offering Jewish young adults free educational trips to Israel...with no strings attached.

The job title, "Mezuzah Doctor."

Some Palestine Arabs of the Old City in Jerusalem know some Yiddish thanks to their contacts with the Jews of Meah Shearim. David Zohar remembers seeing an Arab truck driving down a street in Jerusalem with the driver dressed in a keffiyya, calling out over a megaphone, "Alte Zachen, Alte Shich!" (Old Things, Old Shoes.)

Rich Hall's Jewish Sniglet, "Shaboss": The Mother who gives her children strict rules about cleaning up before Shabbat.
B) Mother who walks around saying, "Sha! Sha!" (Hush! Quiet!)

Alternative meanings for various words from The Washington Post:

"Oyster" (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

"Hoppel Poppel Kosher Comix"; like it says in the dedication, "If we do not laugh at ourselves, who will laugh at us?"

Challah-flavored Tortillas.

Loren and J. R. Ridlinger dropped $500,000 on their daughter Amber's 2005 Bat Mitzvah party. The 8th grader wore a $27,000 Dolce & Gabbana gown.

No Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a party of gaudy excess at Surprise Lake Camp in Cold Spring, New York. Nine campers will be having their Bar Mitzvah at Surprise Lake Camp this summer. In addition, 9 campers and one staff member will also be having their Bat Mitzvah at camp. The ceremony, which is held AT NO COST to the family, takes place in the Eddie Cantor Theater. The camp spends about $5,00 a year on the ceremonies.

In 2004, Christie's, the venerable British auction house, sold a bunch of Jewish tchotchkes, including ceramic spittoons, seltzer bottles and hand-painted Yiddish signs. One unusual item included in the sale was a small glass container holding a pile of ashes. The ashes were the remains of a congregation's "hipotek" (mortgage), which was burned at a celebration party.

"Egg Rolls and Egg Creams" is a cross-cultural event sponsored by the Eldridge Street Project in New York City.

Mark Benenson, a Jew, heads the National Rifle Association (NRA). Jackie Mason was wrong when he wrote, "You show a gun to a Jew and he says, 'Oooh, a gun! Take a look!' Guns are not for Jews. Let's be honest about it. Did you ever see a Jew join a rifle association? Never, unless there's coffee and cake."

Junior's, the Brooklyn landmark known for its world-famous cheesecake, opened on Shubert Alley in Manhattan. Now New Yorkers can come to eat, laugh, argue and kibitz over a chocolate mousse cheesecake ($5.95) or a Fox's U-Bet Egg Cream ($2.75).

______

Marjorie is convinced that the one thing that helped Rip Van Winkle sleep for 20 years was the fact that no one in his "shkheyneshaft" (neighborhood) had a lawnmower.